In high school dvd was big and Circuit City and Best Buy had huge selections. They even carried cheap ass kung fu flicks that were at best grey market, at worst total bootlegs. I quickly learned that Gordon Liu was awesome and almost anything Shaw Brothers put out was gold. My appetite for kung fu mayhem grew until I really got into horror and then I forgot about the badly dubbed flicks until I discovered that Shaw Brothers also did horror flicks! I quickly gobbled up Human Lanterns, Seeding of a Ghost, Black Magic, Corpse Mania and that led me further down the rabbits’ hole. It’s honestly been about a year or so since I’ve watched any Hong Kong horror and Centipede Horror was a pleasant surprise.
The daughter of an affluent family travels to South East Asia (the film never refers to any specific country rather referring as the whole area as we ‘Mericans refer to Europe) where she runs afoul of a sorceror that causes giant poisonous centipedes to crawl on her skin and bite her. She’s taken to a nearby hospital and she begins to die from her wounds but not before live centepedes burst from her skin, right before her brother’s eyes. The brother then sets out to find the sorcerer and put an end to his black magic.
On the black magic flick scale, Centipede Horror resides above Black Magic, and probably Seeding of a Ghost but it’s no Boxer’s Omen either, which to me is the high water mark that will never be beaten. Centipede Horror isn’t particularly gory or sleazy but it is pretty gross. I mean these are giant ass bugs here. We’re talking over 6 inches long and an inch wide, crawling all over folks. They certainly look nasty to me. We even get a great scene of live centipede vomiting. Seriously, how eager to make a film do you have to be to be willing to put several giant live centipedes in your mouth?! Nasty. It’s a rare gem and I’m always game for some dueling Chinese sorcerer fights. A fun, funky flick that delivers enough to be worth a watch.
The problem here is the dvd presentation. It’s obviously from a VHS dub, though a damn good one and the film is subtitled but the titles are hard to read and were obviously burned into the VHS source. This isn’t a pristine restoration by any means but then again the folks at Apprehensive Films are selling it pretty damn cheap so it all works out in the end.
If you haven’t seen any of the aforementioned films, check those out first, but afterwards pick up Centipede Horror. It’s a gross reminder of how the rest of the world lives and how desperate some folks are to make a buck.
As a rule, I don’t usually read short story collections by single authors. I much prefer a buffet of authors when it comes to the short form but when a book lands on my doorstep by an author who’s been previously published in a Comet Press collection, I make an exception.
You Shall Never Know Security is the first collection of short stories published by New York author J.R. Hamantaschen. It says in the bio in the back that the author is only 27 years old which is pretty damn young to have written enough content for a 260+ page book of stories. Dude has been busy for sure. The stories are very unlike most of the work found in the Comet Press collections. For the most part, its not overtly gory or sexual in nature, though you’ll find plenty of graphic stuff sprinkled about like the outer reaches of a landmine detonation. The book focuses more on complex word play much more akin to the style of H.P. Lovecraft in its wordiness, though certainly much more dark than ole Howard ever went.
The stories are largely about the pain of being young in the real world for the first time. Love lost or love never found are themes repeated throughout the collection. The lack of knowledge of self, the questioning of life, and the futility of love permeate the collection. Honestly, that’s not where I am in life and I don’t look fondly upon those years of uncertainty of self so this collection was an uncomfortable read to be sure. Though I guess that’s the point isn’t it? This isn’t a fun collection, though there is an awesomely funny and disturbing story about the embarrassment of having to drop a deuce on a date that rings very true. The title says it all, this isn’t a safe collection. It’s going to make your skin crawl and darken your mood. It’s going to remind you of how fragile we all are and how naive we all once were and how painful it was. It’s full of angst and depression, a bubbling cauldron of adolescent fears and mistakes, anger and betrayals. It’s a nasty piece of work that never falls back on tried and true tropes like ghosts, zombies, and slashers. The collection attempts to stand on it’s own two feet without relying on easy characterization and cliches, and I admire it for that. It just didn’t work for me because I’m in a very different place in my life and I’ve moved on to different hopes and fears so it was tough for me to connect with the words written here. I feel their power, I understand them, but it’s just simply not for this married dude with kids. Different worlds, different fears. I’d love to see what the author creates moving forward as the discomfort of daily life plays such a large role in the fiction herein. Someday our paths will become closer and the work with become that much more powerful for me. Maybe I should fear that day?
All in all it’s a solid collection by a talented author with a strong voice. I look forward to seeing him grow and mature like a fine wine.
Back here again with some more DIY horror. You’d think after The Basement release I would have gotten my fill, but no. I can’t seem to get enough of homegrown horror, and Colony certainly fits that bill.
Seemingly shot in the late 80s/early 90s I have no idea of its true production date as there is no info on the dvd , which to this horror hound is awesome. The less I know about a film, the better. I love the mystique. Anyway, on to the film! A nice married couple working in a genetics lab are on their way to a major breakthrough but their test subjects keep mutating. See each of their limbs gain the ability to become autonomous and in the world of genetic engineering, removable killer limbs are a major no-no. It scares investors and small children. As it turns out Mr. Husband has been cheating on Mrs. Wife and when she finds out she sprays him in the face with the serum! Now Mr. Husband has to find a cure while trying to satisfy his voracious limbs with human meat.
Shot on super 8, then dubbed onto VHS and copied onto DVD, the film is dirty, gritty, and sickly looking. The color palette looks as if the dub got jaundice and turned a invalid yellow, in desperate need of some vitamins and a day in bed. The film is cheesy, silly, and has some great micro budget creature/limb effects that just add to the camp and fun factor. That and his vag looking mouth the dude grows on his stomach, an obvious ripoff of Videodrome. Not a gore flick by any means, it’s still entertaining in the way only poverty stricken flicks can do it.
Colony fits right in with films like Things, The Basement, The Dead Next Door, and other micro-budget bits of insanity. A grimy little romp indeed.
Any semi-regular reader of this site has heard me profess my love for Comet Press numerous times and look out cuz i’m gonna do it again. This time I’ve got a copy of their new anthology Necro Files: 20 Years of Extreme Horror. And extreme it is indeed.
Being no stranger to extreme fiction, having read splatter punk anthologies, most of the hardest of the hardcore writers and of course the previous releases from Comet Press, I knew what I was in for. Graphic, gory, sexual, all that good stuff. Honestly, it’s getting harder and harder to shock me these days. I mean, how hard can you really go? How explicit can you get? According to this anthology, pretty damn explicit. Featuring reprints of rare stories from a who’s who in the hardcore horror game, only one story featured here I had read before. Given the high profile of some of these authors that’s quite a feat. So rather than just reprint a “best of” compilation, Comet Press has gone out of their way to present not only great hardcore stories, but one’s you probably haven’t read yet. The Night They Missed the Picture Show by Joe R. Lansdale is a standout for sure, about a couple of rednecks doing some kidnapping murder and other assorted bits of atrocity. It’s so nasty and believable in a way only he can do it. Graham Masterson’s The Burgers of Calais was also deftly written story about an obese out of towner that discovers a nasty little secret with lots of great humor and vibrant characters. Of course hardcore master Wrath James White’s The Sooner They Learn was an awesome, a story about an old dude dishing out some brutal punishments to misbehaving children that left a smile on face. I mean, who doesn’t think some kids just need a good smack when they’re screaming at toy store or restaurant? Sure, it’s cruel but most of us have felt it at one time or another. It’s a nice piece of cathartic release that goes full tilt. Bait by Ray Garton actually left my jaw on the floor and Addict by J.F. Gonzalez made me feel queasy and uncomfortable and wins the award for the roughest story of the bunch.
Necro Files is a great read for hardcore fans, especially those of us that were to young to read these stories when originally published. It’s a great jumping off point for the uninitiated to point out the true greats of the splatterpunk/hardcore scene.
Freaky Farley is a low budget, yet shot on film, indie flick. It’s becoming more and more rare for truly independent and not “Shot by a studio on a $8 million budget but released by a small imprint in hopes to get an Oscar” independent. Freaky Farley was obviously produced by a small band of folks living far away from the neon lights of tinseltown and benefits from it.
Freaky Farley is about the titular character and his proclivity for peeping in on girls, hence the nick name Freaky Farley. One day he meets a girl that not only isn’t bothered by his voyeuristic pleasures but joins him in them. The problem is Farley’s dad is overbearing and controlling and won’t let him date the girl, go to college, or move out even though he’s in his 20’s. Oh and there’s some creatures in the woods called Trogs that attack people. And a ninja.
Freaky Farley is a film that rests solely on its quirkiness. The plot is slow and for a a film billed as a horror film it isn’t scary or particularly gory. Hell, there’s no real violence until the very end of it’s runtime when Farley fights some Trogs among other things. Honestly there’s no reason for me to like this film given its workmanlike shooting and mediocre acting but dammit I did. The film is more about the vibe it creates and how closely it comes to being too “hip” or “ironic” and comes off as more lovingly produced. It’s obvious that the film makers really cared about the flick and were really trying to re-capture a mood or vibe from films of a bygone era.
While I can’t recommend the film to 90% of horror fans, there is a select audience that will “get” this little indie sleeper and enjoy it, for what it is. A love letter to growing up strange and misunderstood.
Ever wish you knew more about Bram Stoker but didn’t want to do any research on your own? Then this doc is for you! Dracula: The Vampire and the Voivode pummels its audience with minute information about the man the myth and the legend, Bram Stoker. From his humble beginings to his well humble end it follows his life and what may have been his influences on writing one of the world’s most famous authors. The doc features the leading Stoker Scholors from around the world, filming in beautiful Ireland, England, Romania and more. This is a doc for the inquisitive fans, not for the casual watcher. Chock full of interesting information and anecdotes, the film won’t change your mind about the book and it won’t engage the non-fan. The film is as dry as a desert, which is fine if you’ve got a love for the lore and history behind the literature. If not, you should probably give this one a pass.
Dracula: The Vampire and the Voivode is a treasure trove of facts and trivia but is paced like a PBS special. Super fans only.
I discovered The Return of the Living Dead via cable tv as kid if my memory serves me. I instantly loved it and still do to this day. It’s one of my favorite horror flicks and I watch it every year. I also distinctly remember renting Part II as a kid and being sorely dissappointed. Its been several years since that first viewing and I wanted to know if my childhoood interpretation was accurate or if I had dismissed a possible gem in my youth. So i dusted off my VHS copy I purchased during the giant Hollywood Video sell out.
Part 2 starts with a bunch of kids finding some lost canisters of zombies ala part 1 and accidentely release the infectious gas and tar man within exposing themselves and a local cemetary to the plague. Sounds familiar right? Just wait there’s more. We also follow two graverobbers who are in said infected cemetary and they’re played by two of the actors in the first film, playing identical characters from the first film. Wait what? What would possess a casting director to do such a thing? Of course its up to a small band of teens/kids to kill the zombies and save the day.
Yeah so this one is indeed a huge stinker. Focusing more on the comedy than the horror the film falls pretty flat. The jokes aren’t funny and the writing is far from sharp. Many of the same gimmicks that made the first film awesome are re-used here and done so poorly. Sure, there.s some great gore gags but all the zombies look silly and all to similar to each other. They were all painted with the same brush it seems. The music isn’t as nearly iconic and the theme song is a crappy guitar remix. Why the hell did horror flicks do that in the 80s? Anybody remember the guitar version of the Halloween theme? Yeesh. Hell, even the tar man is done poorly which was a huge let down. You’d think they would at least get that right.
Return of the Living Dead Part II is a terrible film that’s watchable but with such a superior predecessor, why bother?
When you get right down to it, good anthology horror flicks are great but rare. For every Creepshow and Two Evil Eyes, there’s several Creepshow 3′s. I love a good anthology and this one came well recommended by Netflix and it stars John Ritter so how bad could it be right?
Ritter stars as a real estate agent trying to sell a home to a young couple. Each home they come to has a sordid past and each story plays out as a section in this anthology.
Here’s the problem with Terror Tract. It’s dull. The first story involves a murder and adultery and I’ve seen it all before. Add in numerous “scary” scenes that end in the main character waking up and you’ve got a snoozer. The second story about a malicious monkey was also tepid and it ends with a story about a serial killer’s actions being seen by a teenage kid. Weak sauce. It seems like even the director’s bored as the shots are all servicemen like without any real style. Same goes for the acting and color palette. Maybe i’m just jaded and too hard to please but this one is just plain forgettable. If it wasn’t for a scene involving John Ritter jabbing a pen in a character’s neck the film would be a complete waste of time.
Terror Tract is horror film making at its most formulaic. An obvious cash grab film that is mediocre in every way. It’s an example of where the genre was in the mid to la
As my favorite time of the year approached for this first time, I didn’t really feel like watching any horror. Lately I’ve just been burnt out and more interested in watching old action flicks. Blasphemy right? Well, yesterday was the first day in my favorite month and suddenly I got the itch to watch Waxwork. Must have been the crescent moon or something because I was chomping at the bit to watch some 80′s horror.
Waxwork is about a group of young college kids that get invited to a secret showing of a new Waxwork that just opened in their town. They go of course and discover that if they cross the velvet rope in front of each exhibit they enter the world of that display. All the displays here are of the macabre, Frankenstein’s monster, zombies, a werewolf etc. As each of them enter they become victims of the ghouls within. Two kids escape and find out that the Waxwork is run by an evil man trying to resurrect the most evil men/creatures history has ever known to take over the world. So its up to a couple of kids, a group of old codgers and one dude in a wheelchair to defend the attack.
I remember catching Waxwork on tv as a kid and loving it, especially the werewolf scene. It wasn’t a commonly shown movie on TV so I probably only caught it once or twice. Fast forward to about 7 or 8 years ago, I rented it on vhs and enjoyed it. I still couldn’t remember much about it though, just that it was silly and fun. I fired up the Netflix last night and was surprised at how gory it is! It’s no Dead Alive but it still has enough of the red stuff to keep this gorehound happy. Maybe Netflix has a less cut version? I dunno. All I can say is that Waxwork is a ton of fun with just enough gore to keep my satisfied. The plot moves at a quick pace and the end culminates in a great monster vs human battle that involves a bat getting its head blown off at point blank for comic effect. Awesome. Waxwork is one of those 80′s gems that never gets any love and it really should along with the writer/director’s second film, Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat. A great party movie, Waxwork should be added to your spooky season viewing. There’s a sequel that I only vaguely remember from TV that I will also be checking out sometime this month, so check back here to see how it stacks up against the first one. I also encourage you to check out Paracinema’s website where each Monday I’ll have a writeup detailing other forgotten horror gems for those of us that have seen everything else!
I am a man that loves his gore and his DIY, as any normal reader of this site will attest to. When it comes to German gore flicks however, it always seems to be a mixed bag. Really over the top gore but usually not enough, matched with abysmal scripts and worse acting. Of course this isn’t always the case and Necronos is one of those few German gore flicks that really delivers.
To put the synopsis simply, demons are trying to sacrifice humans to grow the Devil’s power so that he can be released from the nether region and take over the earth. There is no, hero, no saving grace, no opposer to this ultimate evil. Just a long line of folks slaughtered in the service of Satan. The film is almost completely from the point of view of the demons and we sit back and watch as they carry out their nefarious deeds. To say this film is gory is like saying the ocean is large. The film is steeped in scene and after scene of dismemberment, disembowelment, decapitations, chainsaw slayings, stabbings, pretty much anything you can think of and a few things that you can’t. It’s just gore scene after gore scene of our main character, a mute demon named Goran, capturing and killing men and women. And here’s the problem. The men are killed in traditional horror film fashion and other than the graphic nature of the deaths, there’s not much to write home about. The women, however are all killed in vaguely and some not so vaguely sexual ways. The women are all naked and extra attention is given to blood flowing all over their naughty bits which left me a more than a little bit uncomfortable and honestly grossed out. I’m not a fan of misogynistic murders in horror flicks this one is drenched in em. I honestly had to stop watching it about 40 minutes in and give myself a break. I felt worn out and dirty and had to wait a while before resuming my viewing of the film.
Necronos is still a low budget German flick with poor acting, low quality video production, and outrageous gore but what’s different here is the overwhelming sense of malice towards women, which I know is also a staple of the genre but here it just made me feel nauseous and depressed, but I suppose that’s the point right? To make the viewer feel something? And feel something I did, revulsion. It’s a nasty piece of work strictly for gorehounds only.
