I’ve been obsessed with funky horror flicks for most of my life. Sneaking them on tv while my parents were oblivious, renting them whenever i could and watching them in the theater. About 8 years ago I discovered the Video Nasties list. It’s a list of 74 films banned by the British Film Board in the early 80s. I tracked down as many as i could over the course of a year or two, going through them alphabetically to force myself to watch some of the more unsavory films I had been avoiding. It was with great trepidation that I reached the C’s early on in my quest. Italian flicks Cannibal Apocalypse, Cannibal Ferox, Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Man. All were films I knew were supposed to be supremely nasty and I didn’t really want to see them. But being the completist that i am, i spun the discs and churned my stomach. After watching Cannibal Holocaust, I had to leave the house and ride my bike and try to forget what I had seen. Even if you close your eyes during the gruesome animal deaths, it’s a grisly flick not to be taken lightly. Since then I’ve seen a few other Italian cannibal flicks, Man From Deep River, Mountain of the Cannibal God, and Follow the River on Your Right (a doc about a real anthropologist that lived and ate with a cannibal tribe). It’s a genre that most would leave lying under the rug, forgotten by time, remembered with shame. Not Adam Cesare. He wrote a fictional book about one.

Tribesmen is a novel about a small crew on a shoestring budget who adventure to a small island to shoot a cannibal flick to top all cannibal flicks. They arrive on the island and find it uninhabited but having the remains of some forgotten civilization. Huts, ropes, and fishing equipment. But no tribe. The crew sets up and gets ready for an ardous shoot schedule, helmed by Tito Bronze (Tinto Brass?). The stage is set, filming begins and all hell breaks loose as psychosis overtakes the crew turning them into murderous monsters.

Tribesmen is a short book that gets to the damn point and quick. We came for blood, not expostion and Adam doesn’t waste time getting there. Graphic descriptions of bodily carnage are strewn about in the novel, which moves at the speed of a bullet plowing into some poor bastards face.

One thing i’ve always hated in novels, are real life music or film references. When done poorly the reference comes off as tacky, as if the writer is screaming, Look, I’m Cool! I know what Cool stuff is! It always takes me out of whatever i’m reading and thankfully Adam doesn’t doe that here. He references many films that exist, but in a general way using fake names. Sure, i know he’s talking about Cannibal Holocaust but he doesn’t come out and say, hey, i’m talking about cannibal holocaust. One character is probably Franco Nero, but he doesn’t say, Hey, I’m talking about Franco Nero! He keeps everything hypothetical though to the trained cinephile, we get what he’s trying to say without him having to come out and say it.
It’s a lot of fun reading about the making of a cannibal flick from someone who has obviously watched several and has knowledge of how a film is made in real life. Many small but accurate technical phrases are used and it helps make the book that much more believable without, screaming I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FILM, SEE?! It’s pleasant to find subtly in a book that for the most part is anything but.

The book could have been an obnoxious collection of film references and cinephile jokes but thankfully it isn’t. It’s just a damn fine, well written gory action filled book that gives you what you paid for. A fun ride.

I’m back for round two of Comet Press’ Randy Chandler novel collection. This time we have Dime Detective, a pulp detective novel set in the ’50s. I was a bit skeptical about this one. I mean, why read a book written today about a private dick in the ’50s? Why not just read a book written during the height of the pulp detective craze? Because it’s awesome, that’s why.

Dall is a bouncer at a local dive in small town Florida. His ex-wife, daughter of the Orange Juice baron is murdered, strangled by her own bra. He’s suspect number one until the baron reveals he’s had Dall tailed by a private eye giving him an alibi for the murder. What’s more the baron wants to hire Dall to find his daughter’s murderer and bring him some Old Testament justice. Armed with a freshly minted private detective licence and a gun to go with it, he sets out into the seedy underbelly of town leading him into occult worship and death.

Much like Daemon of the Dark woods, Dime Detective is a fun ride. The time period is only a few days so the pacing is nice and fast with plenty of sleazy intrigue without being gratuitous. The characters were fun to read and the book didn’t feel hokey or stilted. It came out natural and engaging without being a carbon copy of old school detective novels, which was a relief for me. The occult angle didn’t dominate the book but added a nice touch of creepy in an otherwise pretty straight story. I would gladly read about the continuing adventures of Dall and his dames set in the sinful south. Comet Press didn’t let me down once again. I can’t wait for whatever they conjure up next. Pick up both Daemon of the Dark Woods and Dime Detective for a double dose of Chandler. Tell ‘em Toxic Graveyard sent ya!

There comes a time in every Horror fiend’s life when he or she must step out of the genre and breathe the fresh air of something that doesn’t involve graveyards, monsters, or serial killers. It’s important to have these moments of rest so that we can dive back into the genre with renewed vigor. Comet Press understands this. They understand that we cannot be singularly focused humans and must branch out. The Fall Guy is definitely a breath of high octane gasoline.

Todd Collins is a loser. Pushing 30 and working in a warehouse for minimum wage, his life is going nowhere. Nowhere until he accidentally cracks the taillight of a porsche in a parking lot which leads to the discovery  by law enforcement of a massive amount of drugs being smuggled in said porsche. The owner of the drugs then gives Todd an ultimatum. Drive a car to Texas for him, or be murdered on the spot. Todd wisely chooses to drive the hot car and thus begins his twisty turny life in crime.

Simon Wood is an author I had never heard of despite having released several novels and over 150 short stories before The Fall Guy. And I should have because this book is 130 pages of pure kick ass fun. Honestly I could have read it in one sitting because I had trouble putting it down but as always life got in the way of what I really wanted to do. The book is gripping, funny, intelligent and exciting. We are in the same shoes as Todd. We also know nothing about crime and how to be good at it so we learn as he learns, which is a wonderful way to rope the reader in. The characters are fun and Todd is likable. How can you not enjoy a classic tale of the Hero’s Journey, but the journey is through the underground world of organized crime?

No monsters, no serial killers, just gritty action that never lets up. I can’t wait to get my hands on more books by Simon Wood, and I can thank Comet Press for introducing me to such a strong talent.

Two dogs escape a cruel government testing facility and try to survive on their own in the English countryside, all the while being pursued by their former tormentors.

“The Plague Dogs” (1982), the children’s no child so see.  Now I have seen some creepy children’s movies in the past, “The Secret of NIMH” (1982), “The Brave Little Toaster” (1987), Disney’s version of Sleepy Hollow (1949) just to name a few that come to mind, but none of them hold a candle to this one.  The film makers even out did their first cinematic horror, “Watership Down,” (1978).  From start to finish this film presents a crescendo of despair and desperation, for its two protagonists.  Honestly one could compare it to a train wreck; you know it is not going to end well, but you cannot take your eyes off it.  In fact, I have seen more horror movies that have had less dark, bleak, and depressing endings then this animated feature.  When I first watched the “The Plague Dogs”, I had early work the next day, but it was so engrossing that I had to stay up and finish.  Days later, it was still on my mind, like a nightmare that never goes away.  What I find truly unique about this film though, is how it feels like a children’s movie all through out.  The way the scenes are set up and the way the character’s talk all feels like a children’s movie, but what you are actually seeing and the words being spoken displays otherwise.  As much as I have seemingly bashed this film I do believe that it is a must see for fans of the strange, occult, horror, etc.  Just please, do not let children watch this one.  Now when it comes to the ratting I have been very torn whether to rate it high or low.  In the end, I felt it best to give it the score I have, so that the general public does not get the wrong idea and let innocent eyes view.  So I give this one dead dog in the incinerator out of five.

Review by David Bennett

A mad scientist plots to destroy mankind by mutating not only all marine life, but man as well, starting with himself.  Transformed into a hideous manfish, he stalks his former critics with murderous intent.

“ZAAT”, a film truly worthy of its cult following.  Recently released on Blue Ray and DVD for the first time by HD Cinema Classics, this awesomely awful movie has never looked nor sounded better.  When I sat down to watch this forgotten B-movie gem I anticipated to be thoroughly entertained by poor acting, laughable dialogue, and cheesy monsters.  I was not disappointed.  However, I must say that the pacing of this film is like that of a snail’s and I found it increasingly difficult to keep my attention focused during scenes of obvious stretching.  On a good note, I must complement the film makers on their monster costume.  While yes it was rather hooky, it was well made and was even usable underwater.  Being that the monster is a man-fish it makes sense that the costume would be water proof.  Though one must take into consideration the obviously low budget and so I must applaud them on their costume’s durability.  Now if they could only make it so that the actor inside good see better, so that they would stop tripping throughout the film.

As for the story, it was actually difficult to figure out who the main protagonist was.  So many characters could easily have filled this role as the film’s focus constantly switched.  This, in my opinion, hurt the film as I was never able to fully connect to any particular character.  What did surprise me was its rather dark ending.  When you think about it though, a lot of the seventy horror films had particularly bleak finales.  Most of those films however, were usually quite dark throughout, while “ZAAT” seemed a less serious and almost comedic at times.  Overall I stick to my statement of this film being worthy of its cult fallowing, though due to it poor pacing I would recommend watching this one with a group of friends.  Four Sargassums out of five.

Review by David Bennett

I love me some Sam Neill films. Ever since I was a wee lad and witnessed his awesomeness in Jurassic Park several times, I’ve had a strange attraction to his film. That and his great performances in Possession, Event Horizon, and In the Mouth of Madness. When I found out that BrinkDVD had released one of his lost films, I knew I had to jump on it.

For some reason Sam can’t get a break. There are plenty of films he’s done that have not found distribution in the States. Why? I dunno, maybe Americans secretly hate his guts. The Zookeeper languished for nearly a decade before finding a home and I’m glad it did.

Ok, so I wasn’t a history major in school but I believe The Zookeeper is about the Bosnian conflict. Sam Neil plays an ex-commie who worked behind the Iron Curtain as a somebody until the Berlin Wall fell and the Soviet Union collapsed. After more than 20 years of service he was given the boot and began working at a run down zoo that happens to be in the middle of the conflict. He’s the last zookeeper as the rest of the employees have fled to safer lands. His decision to stay has more to do with clinging to what little he has than having warm and squishy feelings for the animals. When two refugees seek…refuge he begrudgingly takes them in and hides them from the partisans.

Sam Neill does a fantastic job here playing a grouchy man who has lost everything. His wife, his daughter and his career to the winds of change. His character arc is an obvious one, he learns how to love and live again, but even his growth as a human being comes begrudgingly. This is precisely the type of film I usually avoid. High powered human dramas don’t usually appeal to me. I’d much rather watch Charles Bronson blow something up, but i’m glad I did watch it. Most Americans know nothing about the struggles and conflicts around the world and I’m not much different. That lack of knowledge is probably what stopped the film from getting distribution, certainly it wasn’t due to lack of quality. The set pieces are great, with cool film stock and a heaping dose of gritty realism.

If you’re in the mood for a historical war drama, check out The Zookeeper. Sam Neill will thank you.

I have this thing about modern war flicks. The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are something that has been a part of our daily lives for the past decade. It’s almost hard for me to remember a time when there wasn’t a brief news blurb about the number of troops killed today. I have nothing but respect for those brave few that decide to put their lives on the line to go to a country that our government, and the governments of several nations, have chosen to occupy. Say what you want about the effectiveness of the wars and what western nations are accomplishing today. I don’t know enough about the subject to comment. I think most Americans are about as ignorant as I am on the subject as well. There was a time in my life when I seriously considered joining up and although I chose not to, I feel that those that do are some of the bravest folks on earth today. When a film comes out about post war life it’s with great skepticism that I view it, if I choose to view it at all. I’m not interested in watching films that demonize troops. I’m not interested in some assholes opinion who wasn’t there and has never served. I honestly skip any Hollywood attempt at the subject, knowing that I won’t enjoy it. It is with this critical eye that I viewed The Veteran. Honestly, I almost skipped this one too. But i’m glad i didn’t.

The Veteran is dark as hell British flick about a young man who decides he’s had enough of the war. A decorated hero, he returns to the London slum he came from to try to re-integrate into civilian society. Suffering from ptsd, he sets out to make his way in the world again. He returns to find that a vicious gang has taken over the neighborhood and his Muslim friend’s little brother has been caught up with the gang. This gang problem is plot line 1. Plot 2 comes from an ex military buddy. They grab a beer at the local strip joint and it turns out that his buddy’s older brother is involved with some covert op stuff, monitoring and trying to bring down terrorist cells in London. He’s asked to join and thus begins his involvement with the shadowy group, gathering intel. By day he gathers intel and risks his life doing so, by night he has to deal with the gang’s control over his apt building and his friend’s run ins with them.

The Veteran is complex, gritty, and bleak. Our hero tries to make a difference in the war overseas, becomes disenfranchised and comes home to find out the war is on his on turf. Either by terrorists committing Jihad or by common criminals trying to take over with drugs and violence. He is a man who once again finds himself fighting other people’s battles. He has a need to use his skills to improve the lives of those around him, the eternal, if reluctant hero. The Veteran is realistic and violent committing to a serious as a heart attack vibe from the beginning and never devolving into cartoonish violence ala Death Wish. Our main character is basically a more competent and socially/physically capable Travis Bickle. He wants to make a difference but just ends up with more trouble and ultimately being ineffective in trying to stop terrorists, win a war, or simply help his friend. Its a brutal look at life and the film manages to be anti-war without being anti-soldier, a difficult task to be sure. A strong film, a film that will likely fly right under most folks’ radar, and like the main character I’m just trying to do my part and spread the word. The Veteran is a worthwhile, powerfully f’d up film in the way only the British can do it.

Like many horror fans, I cut my teeth on the Evil Dead Trilogy. I was obsessed with the films and showed them to anyone I could.  There’s something special about those flicks. Charismatic Bruce Campbell, the unique storyline, the mix of humor and gore, humor and horror. They’re just the perfect gateway into cult horror. There was a time when I would watch anything with good ole Ash in it and to this day the films hold a special place in my blackened heart. Of course I tracked down Intruder, Crimewave, Mindwarp and anything else that had the Raimi/Campbell stamp on it. Somehow though, Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except slipped under my radar. Thanks to Synapse and their amazing restoration I can finally fill a long empty hole in my Evil Dead puzzle.

In a nutshell, Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except is as the film makers call it, “marines vs the Manson family.”  John Stryker, our hero, is injured in the ‘nam and lives alone in a cabin drowning his sorrows. His old friend Otis introduces him to his grand daughter and a spark of love and life is rekindled in Stryker’s heart. Of course some crazy biker/hippies kidnap her and kill Otis. So, it’s up to Stryker and his old marine buddies to hunt down the weirdo’s and shoot em in the face.

So how’s the film? Well, rough, ugly but satisfyingly violent. The film lacks the slick(er) production of other Evil Dead alums but after the last half hour of solid carnage, I honestly don’t care. The film is sloppy and poorly acted, but again the action at the end makes up for all of the film’s shortcomings. Did I mention Sam Raimi hisownself plays the Manson character? Yeah, he does. And he’s great. It’s a gritty little flick that survives on it’s bloody third act and comes through a champion. I had a blast watching this, so much so that I immediately watched the 48 minute Super 8MM version of the film afterwards. The Super 8MM version, included here, looks and sounds great and in some ways is actually superior to the bigger budget 16mm version. And it stars Bruce Campbell as the lead and he’s at his best here. He delivers the goods in the way only he can. The disc also contains commentary as well as a 30 minute doc with the cast members.

Truly this Synapse edition of Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except is the best looking out there with great special features and killer art. Another home run.

The good folks at Comet Press have seen fit to release yet another great horror novel for us voracious horror fiends to devour. This time we get Daemon of the Dark Wood by Comet Press alum Randy Chandler. Just about every short story collection they’ve released has had a story from him in it, and honestly that’s been my only exposure to his work. Full disclosure, his stories never really grabbed me in the numerous fantastic collections Comet Press has released. I can’t honestly say why but those stories didn’t connect with me. Daemon of the Dark Wood did connect with me. In a big way. In fact, I’m thinking about going back and re-reading his shorts and giving them a second appraisal. It’s that good.

Daemon of the Dark Wood is about a small rural town that has come under attack from a creature, or quite possibly ancient god, that has the ability to drive the women insane with lust. The carnal kind and the blood kind. It’s up to the sheriff, a psychologist and an anthropologist to figure out how to stop it before the women kill every man in town. Oh yeah, it’s also up to a octogenarian too.

So ok, the book is about Pan, a satyr. The king of the satyrs. And before you get your nerd rage boiling, I’m aware that Brian Keene also wrote a book about a satyr (Dark Hollow) and no I don’t think this book is ripping him off. First of all the whole vibe of this one is totally old school 80s splatter punk with some spooky 70s style creepy going on as well. Secondly, no one owns the rights to mythical creatures. I say, bring em on. I’ll read five more books about satyrs, leviathans, centaurs, and/or minotaurs before I’ll read one more damn zombie or vampire book. Seriously, can we just stop with the zombies already? The sponge has turned to dust at this point.

But  what about the book? Like I said it’s full on old school gore and sleaze and reminds me of Edward Lee at the top of his game. The best part is the book tries to put on a respectable front but as the story proceeds it becomes sleazier and sleazier as the satyr’s powers grow. I had a blast reading this. It’s fast paced, fun, and exciting. The characters are all varied and likeable, though I would say there are a few too many. If you’ve enjoyed anything else Comet Press has released, or Leisure for that matter, you’ll dig Daemon of the Dark Wood.  It’s fun, fast, and trashy, but with solid writing chops and great descriptions. Randy Chandler is no hack. Hopefully we’ll get a sequel, I’d love to revisit the dark woods and see what else crawls out.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a biologist, specifically a zoologist. I loved watching Jack Hanna and Steve Irwin hanging out, catching cool critters, and generally having adventures all over the world. Later in life I realized that I was more interested in filming the animals than actually reading endless biology texts. I went to film school and although I’m not filming animals, my love of nature docs hasn’t diminished much over the years.

Like millions of other folks, I read an article on Yahoo about the discovery of Titanoboa, the worlds largest snake. Prehistoric and extinct, Titanoboa was as big as a school bus and wide enough to have to squeeze through a standard size door. The article also pimped a nature doc forthcoming on the Smithsonian Channel. I no longer have cable (thank you Roku) so I figured i’d probably never get to see it. Not true thanks to the folks at Inception Media, who have seen fit to release the doc onto dvd. And let me tell you, it’s a great piece of film making.

Titanoboa takes us to the coal mine in South America where the fossils were discovered and follows the journey of the paleontologists as they investigated the find. We see comparisons to other large snakes, 3D models and we even get to see how the bones’ location within the body of the snake was mathematically solved using some crazy complex mathematics. How else would you be able to figure out which bone was which in an animal where all the bones are virtually the same, just incrementally smaller and larger? We learn how the snake would have hunted and what it probably ate. We also get to see some other amazing reptiles discovered at the same site, including a turtle the size of a kitchen table! The quality of the doc is stellar as well. They certainly pulled out all the stops with some beautiful photography and some pretty decent CGI work too. The film is well paced and edited so that it’s 90 minute run time never becomes dull or tedious. The film culminates in the unveiling of the life size model of the creature and it’s quite a shock. I can’t imagine anything that huge ever existing.

I’m unfamiliar with the Smithsonian Channel, though I imagine it’s intent is to give Discovery and National Geographic a run for their money. If they continue to produce excellent films like Titanoboa, the challenge will have been met.